Hello Reader!

I was talking to someone on a consult call last week and I told them, "Listen, you need to make a paradigm shift and once you've made that shift, you're golden! Then you always and forever know how to parent an anxious child!" Which is true -- that's how it works. Make the shift and you will then see your child in a new way that will make all the difference!

But you will still need to learn, practice and revisit the skills.

When I talk to people working through the site program I know that some are still struggling with the shift and some have nailed the shift but need help with the details. It's all good. It's fine to be wherever you are. There is no ahead or behind when it comes to parenting because it's a relationship. Of course the weird thing about the parenting relationship is that it has this forward trajectory based on your child's development. Like they are always growing in this "first this then that" kind of way (and of course we are growing, too; it's just not as obvious) and so it can feel like ahead or behind.

But when it comes to anxiety, I think that growth is more like a spiral. Because with anxiety it's about learning how to be in an uncertain world. It's about learning how to cope with uncertainty and with knowing that bad things to happen to people (sometimes to us) and how do we keep going? How do we put ourselves out there knowing about those bad things?

So we go around and around and around revisiting lessons in new context, revisiting them at different points in our lives. Our children will learn over and over, we will learn over and over.

Mostly what I'm trying to say is that it's not too late to start, ever. It's not too late to start again. It's not too late to learn.

In the site

• Last week's live focused on helping kids "have a go" and face doing the thing that scares them, which is the fifth chapter in our book. I cover it here and include the hand-out from the book. In the video I mention that I think I'm going to build a separate lesson plan for anyone who is getting stuck in the fourth lesson of Strong Kids, Strong Families and that's on my February to-do list. I like building out these off shoot lessons that you can click into if you want more info but that you don't need to do the plan. I notice lots of you end up taking the Temperment lesson and I love that because I think it's so useful!
• I'll be going over the sixth chapter of Parent-Led CBT at 8pm EST on Tuesday. This one is on Helping Parents Support their Child in Facing Fears so that ought to be a good one! Remember the lives happen IN the site (not on Zoom) so you can just open your app to watch. You can post in the chat if you have any questions about what I'm sharing or related to what you're dealing with with your child.

Links for the week

• These week's episode of The Child Anxiety FAQ answers the question "How do I help my anxious child to cope?" and I'm highlighting it here because I think it's an especially useful one. I've linked to it on Spotify but you can get it wherever you listen to your podcasts. I put a new one out every Wednesday and if you've got a question you'd like me to cover, I'm also looking for new ones!
• ​We Are Historians! launched during lockdown and it's all about helping kids record their family histories. The site shares why it matters and then tells you exactly how to do it. I think this would be a great family project!
• The Internet Archive is a treasure trove of interesting collections including every issue of Gourmet magazine from 1981 to 2009. Get a free account and check them out if you want to revisit a time when we were obsessed with sun-dried tomatoes and molten lava cakes.
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See you in the site!

P.S. Not yet a member? Want to grab a time to talk to me and ask about the program? Here's my scheduling calendar!