Hello Reader!

We spent the last week in the Poconos working from a sweet little cottage in the woods as we contemplate a move here. My license is portable, my husband works from home and we are ready for a new adventure. We thought about spending an additional week but then I got word from my dad that his doctor has given him 30 days to live so by the time you get this Sunday morning we will be on I-84 heading home.

My dad is one of the smartest, funniest people I know. He's been a successful business man, mostly in sales, and when I was very young I remember sitting in on sales conferences where a lot of men in suits pumped their fists and shouted, "I feel healthy! I feel happy! I feel terrific!" My dad seemed remote and powerful when I was younger but as he's gotten older he's become more and more soft and sweet until now he is just a big squish.

This is how I see my dad now, like the little boy in that picture, this younger version of himself. There is something about him that is very vulnerable and sweet and maybe (dare I say it) a little naive. He's easier to love now because I no longer need him and so I am no longer disappointed and angry. I am in his second family, in the middle of the three kids he had with my mom. I have an older half sister and two younger half sisters and each time he made a new family, he completely turned away from the one he left. Goodness knows that it's hard to be left but some years back I realized that this is his tragedy -- not getting to know his kids -- and it doesn't have to be mine. From that perspective, my heart breaks for him. I know what it is to get to be present for your children and I'm so sorry that this is something he missed out on with most of his kids.

Anyway. I love my dad and I'm very sad that he's hurting and scared and I'm grateful to be on my way back to be with him.

I read somewhere that when we are suffering, we are aligned with all the people who are going through the same suffering, which means we are never alone. I think of all the other daughters whose fathers are dying and today (the day before we leave, as I write this) I have a candle lit while I sit with clients, knowing that I am not alone and so there is space to be with my clients.

We are never alone.

You are not alone as you go through whatever struggles seem most present for you now -- anxious kids, caring for elderly parents, confronting our own eventual death.

Love to you all today and all days!

In the site

• We are heading into the very last week of the Spring Cohort and it's been a lot of fun (and a few tech snafus). This last week I'll be offering a training titled Anxiety Through the Lens of Demands, which addresses pathological demand avoidance or PDA. That's been coming up A LOT in the site and in the messages I get from people who follow me on social media or listen to my podcast. I plan to make this available for separate purchase for people who are NOT in the membership but haven't figured that out yet. I should be making that announcement in the next couple of weeks and will definintely let you know through the June monthly newsletter. Anyway in the training we'll be covering:
  • The History (and Controversies) of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)
  • Defining PDA
  • Anxiety and Demands
  • Strategies for Anxious Demands
• Originally I was going to present this PDA video on Monday at 7pm but because we are heading home to see my dad, I’m going to prioritize seeing him and I’m moving the training to Tuesday at 7pm.
• Last week's live, explaining how CBT Family works is right here.
• Eve shared a video for Community Practice in Stress Reset, which you can find right here. For May she's offering once weekly events so make sure you check into the group to see when they are. You can also private message her if you have questions by going to her profile and clicking CHAT.
• And of course you can do the same for me. Head to my profile and click CHAT or go to the little speaker bubble and click the plus sign. You'll get a list of members and you can start typing my name in the search bar to click and start your message to me.

Links for the week

• This site makes me tense but it can be super helpful for anyone who needs a hard push to get some writing onto paper. Maybe that's a shopping list, a packing plan, or that novel that's been bashing around in your head. Whatever it is, go to The Most Dangerous Writing App and prepare for action. You start writing (you can set a timer in the app) and if you stop for more than five seconds EVERYTHING DELETES! I know! But when you know you can't stop maybe you quit worrying about pesky spelling and grammar rules and just keep writing.
• And why you might want to make regular writing a habit? Because journaling helps you get through tough times. That link right there has a bunch of science to prove it.
• Know a sci fi or horror fan? Print out these Bruce Campbell Soup labels and wrap 'em around your favorite canned soup. (Link opens to PDF)

Happy Mother's Day to those who are celebrating and gentle hugs to anyone who finds this a difficult day. ❤️

See you in the site!

P.S. Not yet a member? Want to grab a time to talk to me and ask about the program? Here's my scheduling calendar!